by
Andrew M. Christakos, CPA/PFS, CFP®, AIF®, CDFA®, Christakos Financial
| May 2, 2025
They say, “true love is your soul’s
recognition of its counterpoint in another,” but even the most heartfelt vows
don’t come with instructions on managing joint bank accounts, determining risk
tolerance or handling student loans.
Marriage is a beautiful union — but
it also brings together two unique sets of values, habits and resources. To
build a life that thrives together, understanding each partner’s contributions
is where the magic begins.
Planning Separately, Together
Before combining finances, clients
should start by understanding their own financial and personal contributions — income,
assets, liabilities, goals and values. Recognizing these helps individuals understand
how they align (or don’t) and sets the stage for a shared plan.
Everyone has a “money script” — whether
it’s focused on security, freedom or living comfortably without flaunting
wealth — that shapes how he or she approaches finances. Some may spend to
present a certain image, while others prioritize long-term stability.
Understanding these differences helps avoid friction, plan more intentionally
and align financial and personal goals. That’s the power of planning separately,
together.
Combining Resources: Not Just
Financial, But Personal
Once both parties understand their individual
contributions, it’s time to create a shared financial plan. This plan isn’t
just about numbers — it’s about their vision for the future: the life they want
to create together, the experiences they’ll share, and how they’ll support each
other through life’s inevitable changes. The goal isn’t compromise; it’s
alignment — finding the best way to merge each person’s unique resources in a
way that strengthens both people.
Protecting What Each Person Contributes:
Securing the Plan
Life is unpredictable. Protecting
what each partner contributes to the relationship is crucial — not just for
individual security, but to ensure the success of the plan they’re building
together. This means thoughtful risk management, including life insurance,
disability coverage and emergency savings, to safeguard their collective
future.
Prenuptial Agreement: A Tool for
Clarity, Not Distrust
While often misunderstood, a
prenuptial agreement can be an invaluable tool for clarity and respect. It’s
not about planning for failure, but about having an open conversation about
each person’s individual contributions and how those assets would be handled if
the marriage ends.
The best time to have
this discussion is when both partners are focused on fairness and each other’s
best interests — not during times of conflict.
Flourishing Together
Ultimately, financial planning in
marriage shouldn’t be about control — it’s about alignment. It’s about using
combined resources in a way that reflects the couple’s shared values, supports them
through life’s transitions and strengthens their bond. It’s about creating a
future that’s greater than the sum of its parts — one where both partners
thrive and flourish together.