I Do – Diligence

by Andrew M. Christakos, CPA/PFS, CFP®, AIF®, CDFA®, Christakos Financial | May 2, 2025

They say, “true love is your soul’s recognition of its counterpoint in another,” but even the most heartfelt vows don’t come with instructions on managing joint bank accounts, determining risk tolerance or handling student loans.

Marriage is a beautiful union — but it also brings together two unique sets of values, habits and resources. To build a life that thrives together, understanding each partner’s contributions is where the magic begins.

Planning Separately, Together

Before combining finances, clients should start by understanding their own financial and personal contributions — income, assets, liabilities, goals and values. Recognizing these helps individuals understand how they align (or don’t) and sets the stage for a shared plan.

Everyone has a “money script” — whether it’s focused on security, freedom or living comfortably without flaunting wealth — that shapes how he or she approaches finances. Some may spend to present a certain image, while others prioritize long-term stability. Understanding these differences helps avoid friction, plan more intentionally and align financial and personal goals. That’s the power of planning separately, together.

Combining Resources: Not Just Financial, But Personal

Once both parties understand their individual contributions, it’s time to create a shared financial plan. This plan isn’t just about numbers — it’s about their vision for the future: the life they want to create together, the experiences they’ll share, and how they’ll support each other through life’s inevitable changes. The goal isn’t compromise; it’s alignment — finding the best way to merge each person’s unique resources in a way that strengthens both people.

Protecting What Each Person Contributes: Securing the Plan

Life is unpredictable. Protecting what each partner contributes to the relationship is crucial — not just for individual security, but to ensure the success of the plan they’re building together. This means thoughtful risk management, including life insurance, disability coverage and emergency savings, to safeguard their collective future.

Prenuptial Agreement: A Tool for Clarity, Not Distrust

While often misunderstood, a prenuptial agreement can be an invaluable tool for clarity and respect. It’s not about planning for failure, but about having an open conversation about each person’s individual contributions and how those assets would be handled if the marriage ends.

The best time to have this discussion is when both partners are focused on fairness and each other’s best interests — not during times of conflict.

Flourishing Together

Ultimately, financial planning in marriage shouldn’t be about control — it’s about alignment. It’s about using combined resources in a way that reflects the couple’s shared values, supports them through life’s transitions and strengthens their bond. It’s about creating a future that’s greater than the sum of its parts — one where both partners thrive and flourish together. 


Andrew  Christakos

Andrew Christakos

Andrew M. Christakos, CPA/PFS, CFP®, CDFA®, is a partner at Christakos Financial. He is the director for the NJCPA's Union County Chapter and is the incoming treasurer. Andrew is a Personal Financial Planning (PFP) Champion for the American Institute of CPAs (AICPA) and has served as a member of the Emerging Personal Financial Planning Task Force.

More content by Andrew Christakos:


Leave a comment